You’re making out, the mood starts to heat up and when it’s time to take off your clothes… Xiii, it didn’t happen! “This has never happened to me before,” he says. That’s when the flea behind the ear starts, and you ask yourself, “Is me the problem?”
“Most of the time, no. Of course, we need to analyze it on a case-by-case basis. If we take an elderly person, it is very common to have erectile dysfunction due to a physical cause, and with younger people, the most common thing is to lose an erection because of anxiety, nervousness at the time ends up getting in the way. Now, of course, if the person is not interested at all, it is difficult to sustain an erection”, evaluates urologist João Brunhara.
A survey by the Brazilian Society of Urology showed that 28% of men are more afraid of being impotent than of losing their job or being cheated on by their wives. “First, we need to understand that man is not a machine, right? There’s this idea that a man needs to always be ready for sex. If he’s not ready, then ‘Oh, there’s something wrong with him.’ The man may be tired, he may be thinking about something else, he may not feel like it at that moment…”, explains sexologist Dani Fontinele.
What are the causes of erection loss?
“If he has this awareness that it’s normal for him to ‘blow up’ from time to time… But what happens? He ‘brochoked’ once, a second time, there is that anxiety, of ‘My God, will I work?’, and then he can ‘brochose’ again”, says Dani. This anxiety, to which the sexologist refers, we call “anxiety due to fear of performance”.
Age, hypertension, diabetes, cholesterol, hormonal changes, cardiovascular disease, history of stroke and surgery and radiation therapy for prostate cancer are other things that add risk, as well as smoking and alcoholism.
Does taking Viagra and tadalafil help?
“When it’s purely psychological, the guy is a little insecure, he failed a few times, he lost confidence, sometimes it was once or twice working out for him to get rid of that excess worry and get back to his routine. So, it ends up working, but in crooked ways, because we need to know if the person doesn’t have any contraindications. Now, it also happens to go down this path and not succeed, for example, when there is some hormonal issue or other factors that are so simple that only Viagra cannot solve”, replies João Brunhara.
Searching for the culprit…
Was it him or was it you? Before you go looking for the culprit for a relationship that didn’t happen, the sexologist reminds you: “Erection is part of arousal, not desire. So, it can happen, yes, that the man is with the woman and feels like it, but does not have the excitement, and the mark of the man’s arousal is the erection. And he can also have excitement, and his body is not working well, which is the majority of cases.”
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